Hostages
by soHoTmyprecious
Summary: Various members of the Fellowship are taken hostage (hence the title)...but what has Pippin got to do with this? .


Disclaimer: We don't own these characters... cos if we did... well then... this is basically what would happen:

Author's Note: Oh my G! WE hate Mary-Sue's TOO! Woah...

HOSTAGES

Another evil Pippin story from the wondrous writing team Dani Took and Nora Lennon. Flames are welcome... because with a story like this... it's unavoidable anyway. Besides, flames make us hot... and setting things on fire is fun!!

  
Once upon a time there was a Fellowship who were on a quest to destroy the one ring. A hard and dangerous quest that would test the might of their bodies and minds, in more ways than one (*evil giggling in background*)...SHUT UP THE NARRATOR IS SPEAKING... whatever...anyway...dangerous quest...right...oh...what the fellowship did not realize is that the most powerful danger came from within their own trusting group, a danger they would soon have to face. And when the time came, their flight from danger would lead them in the wrong direction.

"BAM!" Pippin walked into a tree.

"Pippin! I've told you, YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY BAM WHEN YOU RUN INTO THINGS!" Merry groaned in agitation.

"But Merry!" Pippin pouted, and looked up at Merry in confusion. "How will people know if I've run into things if I don't say it?"

Merry shook his head, giving up the struggle with common sense. "Uh! Pippin! Sometimes you make me angsty..."

"Funny... I am feeling angsty too..." Pippin said thoughtfully. Merry smiled, but then remembered he was angsty, and pouted.

Strider was being all manly and full of testosterone because he was bullied as a child and now, being superior, felt like he should take command and boss everyone else around. "  
"We've made good time. We'll camp here for the night." He looked around ready to fight anyone who objected to this, but no one did seeing as no one really cared. And _seeing _that no one did, he disappointedly took his hand from the hilt of his sword. As they unpacked sleep sacks and prepared for the night ahead, a cool breeze brought the sound of laughter. The kind that merry remembered from the girls at the Green Dragon on autumn evenings back in the Shire (not that he was _with_ the girls, but he had heard them...he was with Pippin! ^-^). The giggling that told stories of crushes, and rumors no one would believe. BUT, since they were in the middle of the forest and no lasses were around to be giggling, this came across as really creepy. And so the fellowship cringed cos that's just weird...hearing voice...and PLUS girls are scary and have kooties! O.O EW!

 Pippin sat in the corner looking around anxiously. "Did you hear that Merry? Wha did that sound like to you?"

"Em.... giggling girls?"

"Yeah.... that's what I thought.... " Pippin replied nervously. He looked down at his arm and began to trace a pattern with his fingertip. "Circle, circle, dot, dot," he chanted. He sounded very ritual and poked at his arm precisely. "Now I've got my kooties shot!" He smiled satisfactorily and looked up at Merry. "Now you. Cos they might get us in the night! They're like boogie monsters!" he pointed out as if it were quite obvious.

"Pippin! You know when you do that it makes me angsty!" Merry cried pulling his arm out of Pippin's reach.

"What's wrong with being angsty?" Pippin asked innocently.

"BAM!!!"

"Pippin...did you say that?" asked Merry nervously.

"No Merry that was not me..." Pippin replied slowly.

"Well then who said it?"

"We did," said a pair of mysterious voices.

"Who...ohhh..." Merry looked up and saw the too cloaked figures standing before him. Two _tall_ cloaked figures seeing as he was a hobbit. Even Legolas had not heard the figures approach.

"Good evening gentlemen," one began. "I do hope we haven't frightened you." There was a pause and the fellowship was sure if they could see the hooded face of the figure, it would be smirking. That didn't help their feeling of nervousness (or angstiness).

"And who are you?" Strider demanded stepping forward, his hand on his sword hilt.

"Who we are is not of importance Aragorn son of Arathorn, Heir to throne of Gondor," said the second one as she withdrew a hand from the cloak and reached towards Merry. The hand was quickly slapped away by the other hooded figure and the two exchanged a glance behind their cloaks before the hand was drawn back into the darkness.

"Our master has sent us to..."collect" *evil snicker* some things from you," the first one continued as the second one sulked. 

Frodo gasped. "The...the ring?...Sauron?!"

The figures laughed...well wasn't it rather more a giggle?...it was hard to tell. "Don't be ridiculous Master Baggins. What do you take us for? Keep your trinkets, we are after something much more valuable..." explained the first steeping closer to a shaking Pippin.

"What _Pippin_? A _hobbit_?" scoffed Strider. "Are you for serious??"

"I assure you, we are _completely_ for serious!" said the first figure.

"We are taking hostages Master Aragorn. Our master is very intent of their capture. And we _never_ disobey our master." said the second.

"Who is your master? Some pervy hobbit fancier?" asked Legolas.

The figures thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose you could put it that way."

Pippin buried his head in his hands and began to shake it.

"Does your master not want something more noble that a hobbit?" Legolas demanded offended. 

The first girl glanced down at Pippin, then back at Legolas. "As you wish Master Elf." 

The second one moved forward to take him. Legolas drew his bow in defense. Again the figures laughed. 

"You will not shoot us Master Greenleaf," said the first one, factually.

"And why not?" scoffed Legolas pulling back an arrow.

"It would go against your Elven codes," replied the second and they both reached up slowly and pulled down their hoods.

"Elven...oh..." Legolas dropped his bow to the ground with a clang. The others gasped. Underneath the gigantic cloaks stood to human girls, not more than 15 years of age judging by their appearance. The first one took hold of Merry and Pippin by their collars. "Legolas! Strider! _Do_ something!" Pippin cried helplessly.

"I'm sorry Pippin. They are right I cannot harm a woman. It is not an Elven way." Legolas replied meekly.

"Well, I am not bound by such foolish rules," replied Strider withdrawing his sword, he was not quick enough. The second girl withdrew from her cloak a long sliver pistol and shot right into Strider's sword breaking it off at the hilt. She then took out four sacks and placed them on the ground while her companion took out another larger, shinier, deadlier gun. "Who wants to go first?"

"Oh me! Me!" cried Pippin then stopped himself. "On no actually..."

"You...in the sack!" said the first girl pointing to Sam. Sam looked scared but obeyed cos she was scary with a large, shiny, deadlier gun. He climbed into the sack she was holding and she tied it up. Then she did the same with the other hobbits. The other girl tied Legolas up at gun point. Everyone else just watched cos they were not special enough to be kidnapped. Anyway, Gimli and Borimir were asleep so they didn't care.

As they got ready to leave the second girl turned to Strider. "Remember this day Master Aragorn, the day the will of Men failed...because of the will of Women." Strider looked confused. 

The first girl laughed. "Ha ha! You got beat by a girl!" And so they left with the hobbits and Legolas, singing a happy song as they went. ("I might be little but my engine's STRONG, and if you any lifting I can come along. I can lift things high, or carry them low. Wayne the Crane, that's me you know!"^-^)


End file.
